On Traffic
I never liked traffic.
Who does? Sweat dripping in your shirt while fighting the scorching heat of the sun. Humidity combined with pollution are the worst combo ever, it clouds your lungs faster than an average smoker. Time is wasted, people are exhausted. Why is traffic even invented?
If snakes are your fears, mine is roadkill.
Believe it or not, I never drove a motorbike in my country for the same reason as above. Accidents are inevitable and it depends who the devil's gonna play around with for the day.
Did you know that roadkill highlights one of the top dumb ways to die? In Hanoi alone, 3 people get into an accident every hour, and nothing frightens the shit out of me more than that. Accidents are the bullets to your guns and your misery depends on severity. But I made the deal with the devil that I'm ready for the war. Only in Vietnam.
Ever since I rented my first ever motorbike at Minh's in Cau Giay, I couldn't have been happier. Since then, battling the traffic on a motorbike is my daily doze of adrenaline.
My driving history was not that memorable. If my muscle memory reminds me right, my ex boyfriend only taught me how to motorbike for one night. No one has EVER taught me how to fight with traffic. I have to learn the hard way. That's why I got excited about the idea. Where can trusting your gut get you? Well, a new skill unlocked.
Can I read the signs?
Unlike many other countries, Vietnam rocks the most unadaptable. EVAH. How will you understand lối vào and lối ra without google translate? Of course, I have to go back to the basics: observation. But this strategy fails only if you don't know where to go for the first time.. like I said, learning the hard way.
Google Maps, no matter how vital they are for drivers, can be the best and the worst asshole app. The alleyways in Vietnam are the most confusing ever, and this tool will help you get out of the maze.
On the other hand, it'll put yourself in a situation where an epiphany wakes you up in one split second that you are going on an expressway, where four wheels are only allowed. Well, suck it up--that's how you're going to survive.
Imagine you are riding on a death row and the only way to survive is to pass the lengthy-ass expressway. You'll be holding on for your dear life that the humps won't kill you, they're unbelievably higher than the normal cycle humps.
You will sing to the lord hoping there will be no brown-uniformed men in the area or else wallets will cry for losing millions of dongs because of one stupid thing: google maps in 150 meters, says turn right without saying "There's an expressway."
If death is love, why do you sing it?
I would like to say that driving in Hanoi is way better than driving back in my home country. They say, drive how the river flows. No matter how congested it is, you will find your way through.
Just like the stream, it's meditating. You can only hear the vroom sound of the motorbike. Those honks of love are there to let you know that I'm coming through and you have to let me pass. There's no hate driving in Hanoi. If you drive dumbly, people will just give you a death stare.
Otherwise, it's on rare occasions to hear the voice of a human being, unless you are waiting for the green light.
But, today, my love is too much.
I got traumatized.