Can I Find Love Again?
Two days ago, my country's media spread the news like wildfire that broke millions of my citizen into pieces: a look upon sweethearts on TV ended their 11-long-ass relationship. Millions cried because "why?" "They were so perfect for each other, but why?"
I don't know.
Somehow, it is now safe to say that there is no such thing as "forever" or "stay". I know a friend who told me that "Even if it's 11 years, it won't still matter. If he likes you, he will like you. If he choose to stay, he will choose to stay."
I am not sure how, those people who married for 20 years or more managed to keep their relationship alive or maybe choose to still stay. Is it because of the person, or is it because "there's no choice?" I wonder if they're still happy despite knowing that person even the flakes from their scalp.
Is it really "choice" or is it "martyrdom"?
Somehow there will be point in our lives that we get tired of something or someone and we just choose to let go and burn the bridge. A simple "walk away" will temporarily eases your mind because you're out, out from the mess.
That is why, majority of the relationships these days are "Easy", not because you easily fall in love with the person but rather it is easy to simply walk away and get your mental peace back.
I don't know, but some people are just lucky to have someone who got their back despite the odds throwing at them. I wonder if I can find someone who is like that too. I mean, I know I can fight with someone but I wonder if they are the same for me.
Ever since my last relationship had January this year, I can't help but wonder if I will still find love again. Let's just put "I am afraid" to go all-in again without knowing if he can stay with me, or if he's going to be one of those guys who will give up easily. I don't know, I am tired.
I am tired of heartbreaks. I am tired of no one to talk to. I am tired of no physical touch.
These past 10 months have been a journey for me of self-reflection. I promised, I took my time to get to know about myself and I can say that I am not ready yet to face another relationship. I am too guarded up right now to have someone but deep inside I miss the feeling of giving love and receiving love at the same time.
I am just dumping all the thoughts here. It's disorganized. My views on relationship after that heartbreaking news from a celebrity really shakes up my relationship views. I don't know. Can I still find love again? I don't know. Maybe.